Auntie O

Dear Auntie O,Contributed by Sheila Morris

Dear Auntie O,

I have a very big dilemma going on in my life right now and need some sound advice. In the past few years I became attached to social media – namely Facebook. I’m not sure how or when it happened, but all of a sudden I discovered I am compelled to pick up my phone at every waking opportunity to see what’s going on in my newsfeed.

I devour the posted pictures and can’t get enough of the messaging and chats taking place right out in the open for the entire world to see. I am amazed, amused, occasionally dumbfounded at what’s posted, but I can’t kick the addiction to the sights and sounds that capture my attention and keep it.

What’s not to love when I can catch up with an old high school friend I haven’t thought about in forty years – never mind that they’ve turned out to be politically polar opposite from me and I am forced to hide their annoying posts. I mean, they remember when we wrote notes in Coach Gray’s Spanish class and when Earl Wayne Potter got Gloria Sue Phillips pregnant in the eleventh grade. They remember the good old days which make me happier than cooking supper or doing the dishes in the present day.

Help! My laundry is piled so high I can’t find anything clean to wear to work and my husband is threatening to have an affair with a woman who doesn’t have a computer.

What should I do?

Yours truly,
Hooked on Likes

Dear Hooked,

Yes, I see the severity of the situation and what I don’t know for sure is whether you have a prayer to change it. The first step in making a sweeping life change is to have a desire to do it, and I don’t get from your tone any indication that you really want to give up your cyberspace relationships. Without the first step, the other actions required for change are unlikely to unfold.

With that in mind, I wonder what the possibilities are of your husband doing the laundry instead of looking for a woman who prefers someone real rather than someone in the abstract. Since you are re-visiting your high school memories forty years ago, I assume your husband is too old to have the energy to enthusiastically pursue another woman. Hopefully, he is still capable of doing the laundry.

So, Hooked, Auntie O sends warmest wishes for your continuing happiness with your computer and Facebook friends. To quote from Orange is the New Black: most people are better in the abstract. Apparently you agree.

Nobody can leave where they are until they decide where they’d rather be.

Keep me posted,
Auntie O

{Sheila Morris is an essayist with humorist tendencies and is the author of three books available on Amazon. She is an active blogger with three distinct blogs that can be accessed through her website. She is a native Texan but now lives in Columbia with her partner Teresa Williams and their three needy dogs.}

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